OMG, Redsteel suxxor

For the most part, I try to conduct myself professionally on this blog. Time permitting, I copy edit my entries and my final posts are usually the third if not fifth revision. However, there are moments when well-written (or at least well-intentioned) prose does not do justice to the message one is trying to convey. In these moments, the sheer angst and raw emotion involved demand something less constructed, something more primal, less polite. Something like this:

OMFG! RedSteel for the Wii sucks so hard! Holy crap, where do I start? Ugly ass cutscenes. Stupid gameplay (the sword-fighting is so lame! I sympathize with the children of the developers; those poor bastards that have to hide their face at school. "Nuh uh, my daddy didn't make Redsteel, you're a liar-face!"). Phoned in voice-acting. Level design and aesthetic so frustrating, I think I gave myself a hemorrhoid.

I'm floored, absolutely floored that this was actually released. In the assembly of all games I've ever played, the Time Crisis representative stood up, took a peek at the new guy, winced and sat back down whispering to The House of the Dead, "Damn, that's one ugly mofo".

I think you get the point. For more punishment, see Game Rankings review summaries.

Later this week, my amazing (in a good way) experience with Wii Sports and Zelda.