Sunday, October 29, 2006

Another cheese post

So what amounts to a rounding error, we were all gifted with an extra hour today. Like that fondue set I got last Xmas, I knew it was coming but really had no clue what to do with it. Blissful sleep would have been a good option but that's so overdone. Frankly, I never know a good way to spend the entire hour. Instead, I'd like to think that my extra time was well-spent and evenly distributed through this 25 hour day by being extra cynical on things that happened today.

Cheese Please
Why do "good" restaurants insist on using real cheese on nachos? What's wrong with the gooey yellow stuff you pump out of the warm metal box? Real cheese congeals and results in my well-planned nacho extraction becoming a nightmarish trail of tears and rogue tomatoes. Repeat after me, give it to me fake.

Eat'n Candy
I got three bags of Butterfingers, M&Ms and mixed chocolate bites (Crackle FTW!) just waiting to be rewarded to the cute costumed kids that figure out my building's intercom system. But let's be honest with ourselves here, there are no kids coming this year, just like no kids came last year. This is our guilt-ridden country's excuse to over stock candy and indulge ourselves in leftovers bliss. Let's just drop the excuses and call it Eat'n Candy day.

To the guy I ran into today whom I haven't seen in 10 years: The fact is, the hug was probably unnecessary, I'm sorry I pulled you in. Also, when I asked about the wife what I really meant was "Are you still married?" I wish could channel some Craigslist wit and end this on a high note but there's nothing there. I totally put on a face and I'm sure you did too. Why do we bother? I say we just nod to each other next time and move on. But hey, it was nice seeing you again.


Anonymous said...

Re: Cheese Please: Amen brother Newb. Amen.

Re: Eat'n Candy: I tried a new strategy this year. I bought 2 bags of Almond Joys. I *hate* Almond Joy, which should have kept me from eating them before all the non-existent trick-or-treaters hit my place. And then it occured to me that I love chocolate, and that I can actually just soak one in my mouth without having to actually eat the icky coconut. Damn me and my fiendishly clever brain!

Re: Friend-ish: The hug didn't bother me. The pit stains were kinda gross though. Also, you got Butterfinger in my hair.

Ken said...

So you just ignored the nut? Not its fault that it's surrounded by unwanted coconut. Think about the nuts!