Some notes from the weekend:
- Bob Dylan sings just fine, the problem is you're just too sober.
- You're not allowed to have a "favorite" restaurant in a foreign country if you've only been to said foreign country once.
- Inflation's a bitch. For the second time in a year, a homeless dude asked me for $100.
- When I ask to buy a beer, chances are, I don't want the one sitting on the side... so don't make things awkward by asking.
- The amount of loose change in your pocket is inversely proportional to your distance from an expired parking meter.
- The 70% off warehouse sale IS too good to be true, move on.
- Flowers cause selective blindness: Take any newspaper, then use it as a floor mat, to catch bbq drippings or as a bb gun target. Take same newspaper, use to wrap around roses and present package to a woman in your life. If she notices the paper, you didn't spend enough on the roses.
- Late night television preys on our weakened sense of quality. Exhibit #1: Infomercials. Exhibit #2: Byron Allen's immortal career.
- After the third date, it becomes acceptable to take home leftovers from dinner.
- You can't leave a list with only 9 items.
No comments:
Post a Comment