Can you pass me an analgesic?

I think we'd all be better off if I didn't post today. I'm recovering from the weekend and the part of my brain that does this writing stuff is over in the corner, peeing on the ficus and chanting "Yoshima".

By the way, could you stop reading so loud? Thanks. Oh yeah, hey, can you maybe turn down the screen brightness a little too? Oh great, you're wonderful!

So this weekend... right, let's see. I learned several things:

• If you chuck a glow-stick necklace really far, you'll have a darn good chance of hitting a yuppy. [Hollywood Bowl Flaming Lips concert]
• Contrary to all forms of logic: The speed at which pot smokers find each other is inversely proportional to the number of guests at the party. [Neighbor's party, 100 people, less than 5 minutes]
• If you're the only one sporting goggles at a pool party, you better have six-pack abs or be the guy on the tall chair, otherwise, welcome strange looks. [Saturday day, Cuban pool party, I was the idiot with the goggles]
• Women are much better line-cutters than men. Just hold her hand, try to keep up and shrug if anyone looks at you weird. [Hermosa Beach bar hopping]

When ficus-boy over there sobers up, we'll be back to normal.

[Edit: Oh yeah, forgot to mention I hadn't been doing anything social for about 6 weeks prior to this weekend. (You can fact check me by looking for the last time I talked about doing anything fun here in the blog) I'm really not sure why everything converged the last few days. Therefore, my smarty pants reader that told me I was trying to look popular: I'm sadly, not.]