Monday, September 11, 2006

Help others

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." - His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama


Karl Castaneda said...

What you didn't mention was, right after he said that, His Holiness gave a swirlie to an orphan.

It's true, though - Karl Castaneda Inc. supports love, not war... especially not with the ladies. ;)

Speaking of which, I've gotta know, Ken - how often do you use your status in the biz to get women? Like, do you just drop "Oh, by the way, I'm from Acclaim?" right there on their lap? I'll bet you do.

Ken said...

I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer, especially given the post you've decided to ask it in.

Ok, so this happened last week:

I slid over to the blonde with smoky eyes and lips so glossy I could see over my shoulder in them. I realized I forgot my drink halfway there so as casually as possible, I reached back over to get it. The move looked as smooth as it sounds.

"Hi, my name is Ken" I blurted out, quickly followed by "Oh, by the way, I'm from Acclaim"

"What?" She asked over her cosmo, which hung in mid-air, delicately balanced between candy red nails.

"Acclaim, you know, the game company?" I said.

"Oh, that must be fun", she said without a hint of suggestion that she actually believes it.

"Yeah, I'm the brand manager of a robot fighting game." I said with a bit too much enthusiasm.

There's a pause, as if she's registering this vital piece of information and waiting for the lights to stop, the gizmos to finish whirring and the whistle to blow. Somewhere in her mind, a little slip of paper spits out of a large machine. The note says in simple sans serif font: "Loser".

"So umm, I got to go find my girlfriends now, it was nice meeting you Ken from Acclaim", she says with the confidence of a well-rehearsed actress.

"You too, umm, you" I say to her back.

Yes Karl, the ladies love the game insiders.

Karl Castaneda said...

You gotta mention Nintendo, Ken. Trust me on this one. The Nintengirls love inside info. LOVE IT. I traded off info on the Wii's controller for... acts I won't describe here.